


The Moscow Rules

by jaderook



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blackfrost - Freeform, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-03-03 21:33:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2888660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaderook/pseuds/jaderook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., Natasha Romanoff is dragged back into action whether she wants to go or not. With Loki Laufeyson as her only ally against a plot to take over the world, she finds herself questioning her own judgment and walking the fine line between heroine and villain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Assume Nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> The Moscow Rules is the name for the rules allegedly developed by the CIA during the Cold War to be used by spies and others working in Moscow.
> 
> Reviews are very much appreciated.

The private elevator in Stark Tower slid shut with a whoosh and lurched into action and Natasha's body tensed as she braced herself against the movement. Staring straight ahead she glimpsed her reflection in the mirrored surface of the door only to see a woman with pin straight red hair, a vintage black dress with a red belt, red stiletto heels, red clutch and a matching manicure and pedicure. She was not as ready for this impromptu meeting as she could have been and it made her feel more uncertain than she had in years. Perhaps it was because she had never felt so exposed. She mentally reviewed all of the ways she could kill a man with just her shoes, as an effort to get her mind back in the game, and came to a decisive conclusion. Natasha smirked. "Too many to count."

As the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open, Natasha's eyes immediately focused straight ahead on the mahogany colored sofa in the recessed seating area, where a man with extremely short hair, wearing what appeared to be a gray suit, sat with his back to her. His posture screamed military. He angled his body toward her in response to the noise the elevator made, to reveal a monocle covering the right eye of a relatively handsome and thin middle-aged face. He gave a polite smile, but she knew he wasn't used to smiling.

Natasha gave him a polite nod back and stepped out of the elevator, sliding her eyes to the left as she did. She heard noise from the bar area, and caught Pepper Potts' head of blonde hair from the corner of her eye. Natasha was slightly annoyed that she even felt the need to do this, to be here today, and it was worse that she apparently came at a time when Stark had other company; company she recognized. What was he doing here?

Pepper's voice greeted her warmly from the bar. "Natasha!" The blonde smiled at her, her tailored white blouse and black skirt giving her the smart CEO look she had become known for. "It's so good to see you. Can I get you anything?"

Natasha gave her a slight smile. "Whatever you're already serving is fine."

Pepper gave a little laugh. "Bourbon it is then. Make yourself comfortable." She rounded the bar carrying a tray with crystal tumblers and a bottle of bourbon. "I'd love to hire you back on, you know. We've really missed you around here."

Natasha genuinely liked Pepper and let it show in her expression. Anyone who could put up with Tony Stark was a real saint in her book. "Thanks. I'll keep it in mind."

Natasha followed Pepper over to the recessed seating area, and took a seat in a black leather armchair directly across from the mahogany sofa.

Pepper sat next to the man on the sofa, after placing the tray on a glass coffee table and handing them both drinks. "Mr. Strucker, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, Natasha Romanoff. Natasha, I'd like you to meet Wilhelm Strucker. He has a business proposal for Stark Industries."

Strucker's direct stare was at odds with the friendly tone of his slightly German accented voice. "Ah! Miss Romanoff and I have met before. We have both worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. in the past, though my own dealings were not as extensive."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at that. She saw the direct threat inherent in Strucker's body language, and Pepper seemed to be oblivious. Yes, Strucker had worked with S.H.I.E.L.D., and that gave her every reason not to trust him. "It's good to meet you again, Mr. Strucker."

Strucker's little smile was more of a smirk. "Wilhelm, I insist! All of us were surprised to hear about HYDRA, and I know everyone in Washington has been putting you through the ringer, but I admire your bravery in releasing all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s information on the Internet, Miss Romanoff."

Natasha tilted her head back, her face expressionless. "Thank you."

Pepper looked at Natasha apologetically, and then held up her phone to show her calendar. "Well, I hate to leave you here like this, Natasha, but I was going to show Wilhelm some of our R and D floors. We're kind of on a tight schedule today. But Tony should be around soon."

Natasha spared Pepper a small smile. "Oh, it's no problem, Pepper." Natasha looked steadily at Strucker. "It was good meeting you again, Wilhelm."

Strucker stood from the sofa, bourbon in hand, and seemed to loom with his chin down, as he stared back. "The pleasure is mine."

She watched their exit through narrowed eyes. Strucker was up to something, and it likely wasn't good. She leaned back in the chair, swiveling it to face the windows, and willed herself to relax.

Natasha found herself craving something she could trust. She had told Steve Rogers the truth, amazingly enough. The idea that she thought she had gone over to the good side when she traded the KGB for S.H.I.E.L.D., only to discover that she had been duped into working for an organization that had been taken over by HYDRA, didn't sit well with her. In fact, it put her off balance more than a little bit. If she couldn't tell the difference between S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA, then Natasha couldn't trust _herself_. The desire to be a better person obviously got lost in translation when it came to her years of conditioning in the Red Room.

With Fury officially off the grid in Europe, Natasha didn't know what to do with herself anymore. Sure, she could have gone with him. That offer had been genuine. Fury and Natasha both knew how to disappear and reinvent themselves if necessary. They had both done so before. Not that she knew any details about Nick, but one didn't become the Director of an organization like S.H.I.E.L.D. without having a certain skill set. Yet, the idea of starting over just to help him salvage or reinvent S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't necessarily something Natasha wanted to do. Now it was going on two months since Fury's departure.

She had to figure out what to do next. She had toyed with the idea of maybe keeping the Avengers together full-time, and that was part of her reason for being here, to feel out Tony Stark to see if that would even be doable. However, that was sticking point number two. Natasha had also been completely honest with Steve when she told him she was a liar. While releasing all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s information on the Internet was more than a little inconvenient, especially where it concerned her, it wasn't too concerning. It didn't touch even the tip of the iceberg of the truth of her life. Still, she had doubts about effectively leading the Avengers if she was this out in the open.

She had called in favors to get information regarding Bucky Barnes to Steve because Steve deserved to know. Usually, she wouldn't have bothered, saving those favors for more dire personal situations, but she had felt that she owed Steve. She wanted them square, and she needed Steve to be predisposed to think well of her. She wanted him on her side if they continued with the Avengers.

Natasha heard Stark's entrance before she saw him. She was surprised he even used the elevator. It was more his style to fly in with his suit. However, she had heard that Stark had given up his suits along with his arc reactor after his latest debacle.

"How did _you_ get into my tower?"

Whatever else she could say about Tony Stark, the view from his penthouse was magnificent and he had excellent taste in alcohol.

Natasha swiveled the armchair back around to face the sofa. "You gave Maria Hill a job," she stated calmly.

She brought the crystal tumbler of Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve up to her lips and took a sip. She observed Tony Stark as she did. He was sporting the same facial hair and dark hair Natasha was used to. Even his long-sleeved AC/DC shirt and dark wash jeans was pure Stark, but he was no longer glowing. So, they were right. He no longer needed the arc reactor.

Tony gave her a slight frown. "And you're drinking my bourbon," he stated unnecessarily, ignoring her statement. "The expensive twenty-three-year-old bourbon that I happen to like better than the A.H. Hirsch bourbon."

"It's good," she said with a smirk.

Stark pouted. "Not even Pepper knows about that bourbon stash." He took a seat on the sofa and reverently picked up the bottle from his glass coffee table. "Saw the S.H.I.E.L.D. dump on the Internet," Tony continued nonchalantly, while still looking at the bottle. "And your moment in the media spotlight."

"Hmm," she responded noncommittally.

It was this that caused Stark to lock his eyes with her. He looked like he was trying to figure her out. "See, that lack of concern worries me, and that's a big concession from someone like me."

Natasha took another sip of bourbon.

"And where's our dear ole' one eye these days?"

Natasha's poker face was perfect. "Six feet under."

Stark shook his head. "Bullshit. Hill said the same thing, but we all know Fury is still out there."

Natasha gave a shrug that indicated she didn't care whether he believed her or not. "Steve, Maria, and I were there when he died, Stark. And if you can't trust what Maria says, then why give her a job?"

"Talent, beauty, _discretion_ ," Tony countered. At the last word, he gave Natasha a look. "You've only got two out of three these days. There's only enough room here at Stark Industries for one indiscrete person, and it's the guy with his name on the lease."

She wasn't here for a damn job, but she had to admit it sort of bothered her that Stark wouldn't want her back. She had only been an asset to his company before.

Natasha merely raised a supercilious eyebrow. "You're not glowing anymore."

Stark gave her a challenging stare. "Yeah, I've moved on," he said pointedly.

He was implying she wasn't? That was rich. That was all Natasha ever did was try to move on.

"You know I'm all for second chances, sweetheart, but I'm actually listening to Pepper now when it comes to what constitutes bad publicity."

If only Stark could really pull off sympathy convincingly. It was almost insulting.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not here for a job, Stark. I'm here to tie up loose ends. I'm willing to give you some information that didn't make it on-line. Intel about your father—"

Stark held up a hand and cut her off, his lips pursed in annoyance. "Yeah. Stop right there, Red Sonja. I don't want to know anything else. Whatever hijinks you and Capsicle got up to that had to do with my old man can stay buried between you. I want nothing to do with it."

Natasha tilted her head to the side so as to seem uncertain. "Look. Tony—"

He shook his finger at her. "No, no, no. I know what you're trying to do here, and it's a nice sentiment—" Stark dearly looked like he wanted to take a sip straight from the bottle but managed to refrain. "But I want the past to stay there."

Natasha wasn't nearly so restrained. She took another sip from her tumbler.

The fact that he had been one of HYDRA's targets and the fact that she had helped save him from that fate had obviously not made Stark predisposed to any open lines of communication or favors between them. While she hadn't wanted a job from Stark, she had at least been hoping for an influential ally she could call in a favor from if the going got rough. This was the type of thing she had to do in her line of work. She needed to cultivate these types of relationships even more so now that she was cut loose. However, apparently, even contemplating keeping the Avengers together full-time had been a foolish notion. She put it from her mind. She should have known better than to assume anything.

Natasha gave Stark a look of indifference. "Alright. If that's what you want."

"It is," he said with a hint of steel.

Natasha wasn't going to push where she wasn't wanted. "Well, other than that, I just stopped in to say goodbye," she lied.

This piqued Stark's interest. He widened his eyes in surprise. "Yeah? Where you heading off to?"

Natasha shrugged. "Need to know, Stark." Truthfully, she had no idea.

"So, S.H.I.E.L.D.—" Tony trailed off.

"Doesn't exist anymore," Natasha responded firmly. Maria had already told him as much. The whole world knew that now.

Stark's usual droll sense of humor was non-existent today, but it was her last statement that got a reaction she had never expected to see from a fellow Avenger towards her.

His voice was practically a growl. "For your sake, I hope you're not going HYDRA on us."

Was he fingering the cuffs to his suit? Those suits weren't even supposed to exist anymore. Stark probably didn't even realize he was doing it, but Natasha took it as a threat anyway. If she wondered exactly where she stood on Stark's trust scale after what he'd read about her on the Internet, then it was clear that he didn't trust her much at all.

She gazed down to look non-threatening. "HYDRA doesn't exist anymore either."

Stark didn't look relieved at her statement. "Officially. You know, forget what I said. Pepper would take you back—"

He only said that because he wanted to keep an eye on her now.

She smirked. "I know. She told me when she let me in—" Natasha took a sip of bourbon. "And got me a drink." She set the empty tumbler on the table and stood up.

"Figures," he mumbled, slumping down on the sofa.

"If you need to get in touch with me—" she offered.

"I'll find you," Stark stated confidently.

Natasha scoffed. Not likely. "I'll let you if I want to be found," she retorted. She was at the elevator before she turned around to face the back of his head. "By the way, watch out for Strucker. "

Stark turned his head and raised an interested eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"

She shook her head. "He's up to something." Suddenly, she gave him a mischievous grin. "Oh- and I saw that tabloid article accusing you and Lt. Rhodes of being an item."

Tony immediately scowled and held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "Just because I may have kissed him that one time- I was drunk! It was a friendly bromance kiss of gratitude. That's all. Everyone knows I'm with Pepper."

The elevator opened and Natasha stepped in and turned back to face Stark with her smirk still firmly on her face. "I'm not judging. There's a Russian saying. Odin raz ne pi'do'ras."

Stark glared at her. "In English, please?"

Natasha just kept smirking.

"JARVIS?" he asked.

The computerized voice responded in full English butler mode. "Sir, I believe in vernacular it translates to, 'One time doesn't make you gay.'"

Natasha was still smirking when the doors closed, cutting Stark off mid rude gesture. Well, this visit had turned out to be a completely pointless waste of time. She had had hopes too. Once the doors closed she immediately dropped the smirk and sought out her reflection, only to freeze in shock. Her hair was no longer straight. It was in spiral curls. The air felt heavy, almost electric. Natasha was no stranger to seeing things that weren't necessarily there, the Red Room had taught her that, but her first instinct was panic. She closed her eyes and let out a calming breath before opening them again. Her hair was still curly. She resisted the urge to touch it. She just had to ignore this. It was the alcohol. When the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to the lobby, she looked back at her reflection one last time, only to see Loki standing directly behind her, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror. Her flinch was so slight as to be unnoticeable to most people.

But this was Loki, and he noticed. He gave her a dark smirk. He was wearing green, black and gold leather armor, his dark hair was longer and wilder than she recalled, but his eyes looked very green, and just as terrifyingly full of madness and malice as ever.

She quickly maneuvered her body so as to attack, however, he wasn't behind her. Her heart started racing and she was on edge. She turned around in the elevator. He was gone. She was alone. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. She growled his name. "Loki." Faint laughter was her response.


	2. Never go against your gut.

Natasha was sitting at the Starbucks near her hotel, debating on whether she should tell anyone that she had seen Loki. Perhaps she was just seeing things, but on the off chance she wasn't, perhaps she should contact Thor. The last she heard he was with Jane Foster. She pulled her new phone from her clutch and contemplated it. Her gut was telling her that this was big, yet she hesitated. Maybe she'd just wait and see instead. She set the phone down, picked up her tea and looked out the window.

Natasha had left her apartment in D.C. with only the essentials. Nothing there was anything she'd miss if she had to start over. Like Fury, she had passports and aliases S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn't known about. Natasha Romanoff was about to disappear again, but she decided to begin by leaving an obvious trail to throw people off, starting with checking into Langham Place, Fifth Avenue for the next week. As long as she was on the radar in a big way, she was going to do it in style. She wasn't going to risk going to any of her personal safe houses unless she was truly desperate and off the radar.

She left the Starbucks and started walking back to her hotel. Natasha was aware of her surroundings at all times, and she knew the government was having her followed. She expected it. Not only that, she was more than capable of picking out who was following her. She let them. Most were pathetically transparent.

Her phone rang. She looked at the phone which displayed a number she knew quite well. The truth was, she was too unsettled by Stark's mistrust to want to talk to anyone right at the moment. Regardless, she decided to answer. She fingered her arrow necklace and took a deep breath.

"Hello?"

"What the hell, Natasha?"

"Clint. Now isn't a good time."

"Yeah? Well, I suppose you wouldn't mind explaining to me why Stark told me to keep an eye on you then? He said you were leaving."

"Stark? I may have paid him a visit earlier. You know how he is."

Stark had to prove a point, didn't he? That was mostly what this was, Stark proving he could find her through Clint.

"He somehow thinks you might be open to recruitment from HYDRA now."

Natasha snorted disdainfully. "He pretty much said the same thing to me. Why would I work for HYDRA?"

"You tell me."

Her stomach dropped, and what kind of reaction was that to the man you were supposed to love? "Really, Clint? That's all you've got? I helped expose HYDRA; I'm not working for them. Where are you anyway?"

There was a long silence.

"Clint?"

"Budapest."

" _What?_ Why?"

"Some Intel work for some mutual acquaintances, Natasha. Acquaintances who happen to be able to corroborate Stark's suspicions."

"Wait, you're telling me that _whoever_ in _Budapest_ is telling you I'm working for HYDRA now?"

Natasha could only imagine. Sure, she didn't have the best track record, but Clint was supposed to know her as well as anyone could. She thought they had something special between them, like a relationship, for instance. However, apparently S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Internet dump wasn't just affecting Stark's opinion of her.

"Okay, so they didn't mention HYDRA. They mentioned the Kremlin wanted you back though. Even said they offered you a full pardon."

That was true. Putin himself had offered a full pardon. The offer was quite tempting. However, only Clint would equate HYDRA with the Kremlin.

"Yeah. They did."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Shit, Natasha. You can't go back to Russia."

"I never said I was. But things are different there now, you know that."

"Not different enough. Natasha, you can't afford to go rogue now."

Considering going back to Russia was going rogue now? That made no sense. Well, it probably made sense to the US government. Whatever. She just wanted to keep her options open, and it was nice to know that at least she had Russia if things got bad.

"I wasn't planning on it. I'm simply taking a break to figure things out."

"Look, I'm sorry. It's just—"

"You don't trust me," she deadpanned in her usual apathetic tone.

The silence was too long this time.

Clint sighed. "Why do you do this? Just come to meet me in Budapest, Natasha. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone some of us are going to work for other agencies. You should come. I can get you on with me at a sub-bureau of INTERPOL."

Of all the… _INTERPOL?_ Seriously?

"My skill set would go to waste at INTERPOL. So would yours. You know they don't do the types of ops I do, Clint."

"Natasha—" Clint sighed. "At least consider working with Stark, like Hill is doing."

Like hell would she ever work for Stark now, well, not unless there was another attack on the world. She might make an exception for that. However, she couldn't afford to think of her absolutely fucked up relationship with Clint now either.

"Anyone ever tell you, ne u'chi ot'tsa kak ye'bat, Clint?"

"You know my Russian is terrible."

"Don't teach your father how to fuck, Clint."

"Natasha—"

"I'll be in touch."

Natasha hung up on him just as she walked up to the door of her room, by-passing the hotel's complimentary personal assistant with a smile. She wanted nothing more than to throw her phone down and then stomp on it. Better yet, she wanted nothing more than to cognitively recalibrate Clint again. She couldn't deal with Clint right now, and it hurt that he apparently didn't have the level of trust with her that she thought he did. She was fairly certain she might even love him, but it was obvious they were going to have to work on some things if their relationship was going to last. It was only then that it dawned on her that she hadn't even bothered to attempt to let Clint know that Loki might be back. She could have easily let him know. Well, she had no intention of calling him back just yet. It could wait.

The brief thought crossed her mind that the new Natasha, the reformed Natasha she wanted so very badly to be, would drop everything and call Clint back. The new Natasha would let herself become emotionally compromised over Clint and work on their relationship. However, she still fell easily into old patterns of pushing people away and focusing on anything else.

Once she pulled her key card from her clutch, she then drew a Glock 26 from her thigh holster. After opening the lock on her door, she opened it, dropped her clutch, and looked around cautiously. With her life you could never be too careful. She checked the kitchen and the walk-in closet leading into the bath, before going into the bedroom, where she saw Loki seated in a gray armchair on the other side of the bed. She couldn't say she was surprised.

Loki was still wearing his Asgardian leather armor minus the helm, and he was sitting like an absolute whore, legs spread wide, like he owned the suite. He gave her a maniacal grin. His voice was smug. "Well, isn't _this_ interesting."

Even though Natasha had her gun trained on him in short order, she held no illusions that she was out of the danger zone or held the upper hand. Loki was dangerous, and she wasn't going to take chances.

His voice sounded like pure velvet. "A magpie brought it on its tail that S.H.I.E.L.D. is all gone, and the little spider is cut loose. Or, perhaps, you've been caught in a larger web."

Natasha advanced closer and stopped on the other side of the bed from him. "And I suppose you're the magpie, Loki."

He gave her a mocking look. "Indeed I am, Agent Romanoff."

To Natasha's credit the gun stayed steadily on her target. "We were told you were dead," she calmly stated.

Loki smirked. "As dead as your dear Director Fury, but you know how these things go."

Yes, well, she supposed she did know. Loki doing the same, space alien though he was, came as no surprise. How he knew about Fury she'd love to know though.

Natasha stared directly into his eyes. "I only question why you're _here_."

There was no reason for it, as far as she was concerned. He shouldn't be anywhere near Earth.

Loki chided her. "You're so untrusting, Natasha. Perhaps I just wanted to see an old friend."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even going to respond to that."

He gestured toward the bed in a show of false congeniality. "Please, take a seat."

She let a touch of incredulity into her voice. "It's my suite."

"It's quite a story."

Natasha swaggered around the bed, perching on the edge with her gun still pointed toward Loki unerringly. It was probably best to humor him for now.

He only grinned wider. "Good girl," he praised.

Natasha showed no reaction to his goading. "Start talking."

Loki looked completely relaxed as he began his tale. "I suppose you know of the events leading up to my death."

Natasha nodded. "Portals opening everywhere, something about an alien substance, space elves trying to take over the universe, some astrophysicists and Thor somehow getting involved and somehow fixing it, and you getting sprung from prison and redeeming yourself via a 'glorious death worthy of Valhalla'," she said with implied air quotes.

Loki sneered. "I see you've talked to Thor."

Natasha pursed her lips. "I see my initial skepticism was justified."

Loki didn't miss a beat and gave her a charming grin. "Which is why I only _mostly_ loathe you instead of completely. To make a long story short, I went back to Asgard. The All-Father fell into the Odin-sleep and I took up his mantle as king."

Natasha didn't know what the hell Odin-sleep was, but she knew that there was no way Odin would let Loki be the king of Asgard. "And he just let you be king," she said dryly.

Loki smirked dangerously. "Of course not. I may have helped to facilitate the Odin-sleep somewhat. However, when I say that I took up his mantle as king—" Loki shape-shifted into an old man in gold armor with one eye. "I meant it literally," he finished in a different voice. Loki shifted back.

Her eyes widened in genuine surprise. Natasha barely restrained herself from shooting first and asking questions later. "That's an impressive skill," she admitted.

Loki frowned in confusion. "It is," he agreed, as if surprised she would ever concede such a point. "However, the Odin-sleep was unfortunately much shorter than I had predicted."

She looked at him knowingly. "So, Odin woke up and discovered you when you least expected it."

Loki's face was dangerously close to a pout. "Essentially, yes."

Natasha almost laughed at his expression. She narrowed her eyes. "And when he wanted to put you back in jail, the first destination you had in mind was _here?_ " she asked incredulously.

A look of pique momentarily crossed Loki's face, and he made a dismissive gesture at her statement. "I did have to count my losses and leave hastily. However, I admit that it was quite dull pretending to be Odin. I'd rather everyone know it was me on the throne."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at this. "Are you honestly trying to pull the boredom card with me?"

Loki gave her a suggestive look. "Not at all. I have enemies to evade, a plan in motion, and I came to you, my dear Black Widow, for _succor_ ," he replied, sliding the last word out wickedly.

And damn if she didn't find that a little hot. She had always found Loki to be good-looking despite herself, and Natasha could admit to herself she had a thing for bad boys. She would be lying if she said there wasn't a lust at first sight thing on her end the first time she had met him. That certainly didn't translate into acting on anything though. However, those musings aside, Natasha was going to find Thor the first chance she got. Hell, she'd assemble all of the Avengers herself, even Stark, if she had to.

She shook her head. "I'm not exactly in a position to provide aid to anyone at the moment."

He looked at her intently. "Oh, I know," Loki responded in a tantalizing voice full of mock sympathy. "You're somewhat in the same situation as me, aren't you? Your chosen government doesn't trust you now that your past has been leaked. If memory serves, they even threatened to put you in prison; and it seems you only have yourself to blame for it."

"I did what I had to do," Natasha responded evenly.

Loki had the audacity to wink at her. "Don't pretend it wasn't easy, considering that wasn't _nearly_ everything. Birthday of 1984, was it? Lying about our age, are we, Natasha? I know you told Barton of the Red Room, but did you ever mention the serum that runs through your veins?" he said with a look of amusement on his face.

Natasha felt a slight moment of panic, but forced her face to remain blank. She didn't know how Loki knew, but it seemed he did. She had made certain a lot of things about her past never made it on the Internet. There were plenty of things S.H.I.E.L.D. had never known about her and she would do practically anything to keep that information buried too. It had always been her worry. What had been released was bad enough, and it had been a difficult call for someone like her to make. No one born in 1984 could have possibly been old enough to work for the KGB during the Cold War, Red Room or not. It honestly surprised her that she hadn't been questioned about it before now.

For his part, Loki had the look of a man who knew that he had her exactly where he wanted her. His look was predatory. He sounded amused. "Tell me- I'm curious. How mortal _are_ you?"

Forget the blank face. She glared at him.

Loki was enjoying himself. "Well, you are not like me, or even the man out of time. Your strength isn't much to speak of. But your reflexes, your body's aging process—" Loki looked at her with consideration. "Did it stop?"

Natasha refused to answer. However, she noticed her hands were getting sweaty, her heart rate increased, and her shoulders tightened.

Loki was perceptive. His eyes held a triumphant expression. "It did, didn't it? You are not truly like other mortals anymore, are you? I believe you don't even know exactly how it changed you."

He was right. She didn't. She healed faster, her reflexes were enhanced, even her strength was slightly increased, and she hadn't visibly aged since she was given the serum, but that's all she knew. She lowered her gun slightly. Her voice was audibly tense, and she could have kicked herself for it. "What do you want?"

Loki leaned forward with an avid expression on his face. "You, Natalia Alianova Romanova. I want _you_."

Natasha tilted her to the side in uncertainty, breaking eye contact. She felt his unwavering stare on her the entire time. This was a mistake and she knew it. He intended on coercing and blackmailing her. The signs all pointed toward it. She knew she shouldn't have had that drink at Stark's. She should have called Thor when she had the chance. Everything inside of her was telling her not to listen to anything Loki had to say. However, there was that part of her that wanted to listen, that missed this type of thing. She didn't want to analyze her weaknesses too deeply at the moment. Whatever this was, she didn't want to think about it too much. She frowned slightly and then looked back to Loki, placing her gun down slowly on the bed next to her. "I'm listening."

His smile was positively impish. He spoke in a soft voice. "I need my scepter back."

No. Not happening. The last thing Earth needed was Loki with the Chitauri Scepter back in his grasp. It was in the Fridge anyway. She had put it there herself. Oh, shit. It was in the _Fridge_ , and HYDRA had control of the Fridge. That was just as bad as Loki having the scepter. Natasha turned wide eyes to Loki. "HYDRA—"

Loki kept eye contact with her and didn't look at all perturbed. "I know. It's why I've been following Strucker. I believe he has it, but it is heavily guarded. I cannot go after it by myself—"

Natasha cut him off with a shrewd look. "Why not?"

Loki snarled. "Because if I touch it then certain individuals I don't want to draw attention to will know that it is once more in my possession," he admitted angrily.

She narrowed her eyes. "What are you planning on doing with it when you get it back?"

Loki wet his lips with his tongue. "Keep it out of Thanos' grasp. He seeks certain relics in order to destroy the Nine Realms, because he is courting Death and wants her favor. He knows it is on Midgard and he will send someone to come retrieve it. The mortal, Strucker, does not deserve to wield it. And you, Natasha, have proven that you can hold the scepter with minimal effect."

If Loki thought for one minute that Natasha was a fool… but he was as difficult to read as she was, so she wasn't sure if he was lying or not. She raised an eyebrow at him. "You're saying you need me to help you infiltrate Strucker to get your scepter back so some crazy who wants to kill us all won't get it? You expect me to believe that you're not going to use it in an attempt to take over the world again, or that you aren't working for this Thanos yourself," she said in a deadpan voice. "Plus, if Strucker is HYDRA, then he has every reason to want me dead. I don't exactly see what's in this for me."

Loki's gaze was impatient, and he impulsively grabbed her hand, quickly moving to sit next to her on the bed, crowding her personal space. "I'm not going to tell you I'm not lying, but Thanos—" He momentarily paused as if nervous. "I live in the Nine Realms too. I won't see them destroyed. You told me you want to wipe out your ledger. Think of this as choosing the lesser of two evils, and saving the known universe."

Natasha snorted. "That sounds dramatic. It's difficult to imagine you wanting the help of an ant to do anything," she said sarcastically.

Loki was still holding her hand and rubbed his thumb across her wrist. He gave her a disarming smile and answered in kind. "You are not just any ant, Natasha. You are a queen among ants."

She gave him a dry look. "And a mewling quim, apparently."

His smile turned to a smirk. "Ah, so it did bother you then, calling you a cunt? That was the idea—"

She had to purposefully refrain from attacking him, or picking up her gun, or pulling her hand away. She likely should do any of those things over what she was actually contemplating. She was taking Loki seriously. However, she also knew that his little spiel about her past was likely a less than subtle segue into blackmail. Any refusal on her part would likely devolve into threats or a physical altercation, perhaps even her death. She knew her own attacks would hardly make a dent and he could easily overpower her. He probably wasn't lying about Thanos, but she didn't trust him at all. However, she felt as if she had little choice. "You realize I just spent a good portion of my day trying to convince Stark and Clint that I'm not working for HYDRA?" She paused in indecision and then sighed. There was only one way forward for her for now. "Fine. I'll help you. I don't have anything else better to do anyway."

Besides, at the first sign Loki was lying, she'd find a way to take him out. She had no compunction against doing what needed to be done if the need arose.

Loki was sporting a look of anticipation on his face. "Then we have an accord." He let go of her hand only to finger a lock of her hair, and grinned. "Did I mention that I love what you've done to your hair?"

Natasha didn't hold back on trying to smack Loki this time, but he grabbed her hand faster than she could react. She heard him laugh darkly in her ear, his breath sending chills down her spine. She was letting him get to her, and it angered her that he could. Her heart rate increased. She tried to maneuver her body to kick him.

Loki pinned her to the bed and kissed her aggressively on the lips, before abruptly releasing her and standing up. He had a curiously feral look on his face. "Betray me and I'll kill you, little spider."

Natasha gasped to catch her breath before sitting up. Loki took feigned charm and then creepy as fuck to new levels. He was unstable. She felt a little too out of her depth with Loki this time. She was used to being in control, and since HYDRA took out S.H.I.E.L.D. she hadn't felt in control at all, and she didn't like it. Was it wrong to want to kill and kiss someone simultaneously? Her Red Room training was perfectly fine with that, but she long ago learned that wasn't normal. How screwed up was she? Violence, lust, sex; she always regressed to that and could do that easily. Too bad she couldn't get the love thing down. It seemed Loki shared these particular issues. Her eyes searched his. "So long as you understand that works both ways."

Loki wandered his eyes up and down her body in a considering manner before giving her a fierce look. "Indeed. I'll be in touch." In the next moment, he shifted into the form of someone wearing a housekeeping uniform and swiftly left.

Natasha slumped back on the bed. What in the hell had she just agreed to?


	3. Everyone is potentially under opposition control.

Natasha wasn't wasting any time. When a day had passed without hearing from Loki, she was determined to find out about Strucker on her own. Her interest was piqued and there was no going back. Having something to do again was what she needed, and Natasha was nothing if not focused on her missions, no matter how reckless they were. This newfound purpose brought her to the Starbucks near her hotel again.

All in all, Natasha was quite glad that she had taken the time to cultivate her computer skills to a decent level over the years. Having access to all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s old information and to Stark Industries- not that Stark knew that- made it easy to find out enough about Strucker's work to discover that he had a network of his own. After setting up her laptop, she made an obvious show of browsing Pinterest, Facebook, and other sites, before picking up her brewed tea and looking at the bustle around the café. She felt like rolling her eyes.

The US government hadn't given up their meager attempts at trailing her. However, they seemed to have reduced the number of agents to one. The conspicuous government agent in question was a complete novice and she was almost insulted, he was so pathetic, but Natasha would rather be underestimated than overestimated. The agent got an espresso and sat on the other side of the café from her.

Cracking was kind of dull actually, but Natasha supposed she could claim to experience a certain thrill at being able to successfully pull off things without getting caught. She returned her attention back to her computer. Going through multiple proxy servers from China, Natasha used a vulnerability scanner to crack into Strucker's system and then installed a rootkit. From there, not only did she have full control over the system, but she was able to easily hide her intrusion, and install a back door, which she wasted no time in doing. She downloaded everything and saved it. At the end of two hours, after all of her work, Natasha mentally cursed, as she discovered that everything was encrypted. In retrospect, it was the likely explanation for why the network had been so easy to crack. If S.H.I.E.L.D. had still been in existence, they would have easily been able to decrypt the files.

Natasha felt like throwing her second brewed tea across the café in frustration. She hated feeling as if she had wasted her time. Placing her laptop into her messenger bag, she stood up and resisted frowning at her faint reflection in the window. To top everything off her hair was still curly. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't straighten it. She pulled it away from the collar of her long-sleeved white button down shirt, and then bumped her vacated chair back into the table with a jean-clad hip. As she walked past the federal agent, she felt a distinct urge to kick him in the face with her riding boots. Instead she threw the whole cup of tea into the garbage bin right next to him, hoping it would miss and splash all over him. It didn't. She quickly strode to the door and shoved it open.

The walk back to the hotel became endless meandering. She literally had nothing to do at the moment, and it honestly frustrated her. She wasn't used to being idle. To top everything off, the federal agent was making a poor showing of following her. It was way too obvious. She suddenly had enough. She turned around to confront her follower, one hand on her hip.

The very non-descript white man in a black suit merely smirked at her. That smirk was too familiar. "I thought it would be dull watching you work, little spider, but you're actually very entertaining; especially when you looked like you wanted to kill me back at the café."

Natasha lifted her chin. "Maybe I did. However, now that I know that it was you, I definitely would have tried."

So she had been right in believing that he had been keeping tabs on her. Natasha was no fool. The first sign of her informing anyone else of Loki's return would have backfired spectacularly on her.

Loki grinned and shifted back into himself, though he left the suit. It was a good thing there wasn't anyone around to see. "It's a shame you didn't. I like my women feisty." He gave her a very obvious once over. "And- I have to say- I think I would have enjoyed that very much."

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. Contrived to get under her skin, but still hot. However, she had to admit that it was flattering, but she wasn't about to let herself be affected by Loki anymore. If he wanted her help then she was going to be all business. Ignoring his statement, she broached what she considered the more important topic. "I downloaded all of Strucker's files, but everything is encrypted. It's useless to us like that."

Loki gave her a knowing look at her change of subject. "I can take care of it," he said nonchalantly.

Natasha gave him a skeptical look. "How? This isn't like the movies, where people can magically do things on computers that can't happen in real life." As soon as she said it, Natasha could have smacked herself. "Oh."

He gave her a condescending grin. "Yes. _Oh._ Never forget who you're talking to."

She allowed herself to be led back to her hotel room, Loki assuring her all the while that she was the only one capable of seeing him at the moment. She could never figure out if that was a lie or not.

It had been a simple enough thing for Loki to decrypt the files with his magic. He had even assured her that if he had had more time at his disposal that he likely could have eventually decrypted them even without it, as Asgardian technology was apparently beyond that of Earth. It really annoyed Natasha that she even had to rely on Loki to do anything like this. What was worse was that he was a really smug bastard about it too. However, her musings on Loki's less than lovely personality were shelved when they started reading the files.

Natasha hissed through her teeth. "He's a fucking Nazi. Literally." She pointed to a particular file she had been reading. There was one thing that Natasha was sure of in her life. She hated Nazis. This likely would have even been the case without her Red Room indoctrination. She had once been a convinced communist, after all.

Loki looked over her shoulder. "It would appear that you are not the only Midgardian with longevity," Loki said musingly. "Baron Wilhelm von Strucker." He snorted. "Well, well. 'The Age of Miracles', is it? My only question is how we will ingratiate ourselves to his faction."

She gave Loki a shrewd look. "I've been thinking about that." She pulled up old S.H.I.E.L.D. files she had gone through earlier. "Even though I was a Level Ten agent, Fury kept things from me. I should have had access to this." She pulled up a particular file and turned the computer Loki's way.

Loki's face closed off. "This is that man—"

Natasha nodded. "That you killed, yes. Fury never told us that Phil Coulson was alive."

"I obviously didn't kill him then. He appears hale."

She looked at Loki seriously. "You actually _did_ kill him. Fury found a way to bring him back from the dead."

Loki looked momentarily bewildered, and then he actually growled. "That fool Midgardian! He does not know with what forces he meddles."

Natasha was inclined to agree. It also upset her more than a little that Fury had kept that information from the Avengers, but she knew why he did it. It had taken a lot of digging through Maria Hill's 'secure' files to come up with this. In fact, she was glad she got them when she did, because none of them seemed to exist anymore, which meant that Coulson had gone to great lengths to destroy them. It still made her a little angry; even though she was glad Coulson was alive again. "I know. Luckily, they aren't able to repeat the process. Everything was destroyed. But, that's not what is going to help us." Natasha pulled up a few more files. "It's Coulson's team that has my interest." Two people were prominently shown on the screen. "Grant Ward and Skye. From what I can gather, Ward is HYDRA, but they don't know he's been captured by Coulson's team."

Loki gave the screen a speculative look. "And you think I can be this Grant Ward and that you will be this Skye?"

Natasha gave a curt nod. "Yes. HYDRA wants Skye. She has some sort of abilities people are willing to kill to get control of, and it seems like this would be right up Strucker's alley. If we had Grant Ward appear with Skye, then we might have a chance of getting close enough to get your scepter back."

Loki curled his lips in a pleased grin. "The only issue is that I can only transform myself. I cannot do the same for you for an extended period of time."

She gave him a smug look of her own. "You're not the only one who can change your appearance. I still have access to hologram technology I used for S.H.I.E.L.D. and I can program it with Skye's image."

They spent the rest of the day watching video footage of both Grant Ward and Skye, so they could get a feel for how both acted. When it became clear that Loki wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon, Natasha ordered room service. They were both in 'the zone' when it came to planning, and Natasha could only appreciate his attention to detail. She was halfway through her first slice of pizza when Loki made one of his comments.

He took a bite of his pizza and pointed at the screen. "Eh, heh, heh. It appears that there is more than a little sexual tension between these two."

Natasha had noticed. However, it also appeared that Skye was a sensible girl who didn't care for what HYDRA stood for. She wouldn't let her attraction for Ward interfere with doing the right thing. At least, she hoped Skye could be counted on. She did tend to trust Coulson's judgment on people, so Skye must be worth the effort. In a way, she reminded Natasha somewhat of herself. "Hmm," was all she said in response.

He looked at her slyly. "You know, in order to be more convincing, we shall have to keep up that ruse."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. "Your point?"

Loki gave her a shark like grin. "Perhaps you'd care to practice now?"

She gave him a level stare. "No. However, I do agree that we need to get in character before starting the mission."

"Mission. I like your Midgardian terminology for such things." With that, Loki transformed himself into Grant Ward's physique, which meant tall, muscular, and with short dark hair. He gave a smirk. "Well, let's get this show on the road," he finished in Ward's American accent.

Natasha had already programmed Skye's appearance and voice into the hologram technology. She slipped the resulting mask onto her face, and a pretty young woman with long dark hair appeared. "Okay. I kinda think we can do this. I hope," she said in a fairly good impersonation of Skye.

"I'm impressed," Loki continued. "You know, this honestly isn't too different from being myself. Ward seems to play at being what he isn't at any given time."

Natasha found herself nodding along. She figured Loki would recognize a kindred spirit when he saw one. That begged the question of whether or not he saw her similarly. He likely did. Her redemption seemed further and further away every day.

What Natasha was about to do would have every former loyal S.H.I.E.L.D. agent after her, not to mention the US government. Essentially, she was going to do exactly what Stark accused her of likely doing- going rogue. Her only hope was to bring down Strucker's faction of HYDRA and then hope she could extricate herself from any of the fall out. In some ways though, it was the most excitement she had experienced since the debacle with the Winter Soldier, and Natasha would be lying if she said she didn't miss that kind of thing.

Locating Strucker's facility actually wasn't all that difficult. Natasha, being an assassin, had a lot of experience getting in and out of places. Strucker being in New York to begin with was just a bonus, but it amused her that he had gone to lengths to make it appear as if his facility was in Europe.

Yet, Natasha wasn't the least bit surprised when things didn't go off without a hitch. They parked over a block away from the facility and decided to walk the rest of the way on foot. The real reason was that Natasha didn't want HYDRA to destroy her Corvette Stingray, but she wasn't about to admit that to Loki. When they were less than a block away from Strucker's facility, she knew they were being followed. She stopped near an alley where there were no other people around. "Hey, Ward, I have to tie my shoe."

Loki immediately stilled and went on alert, though he appeared nonchalant to an untrained eye.

However, Natasha was already in action. She leaned down as if to tie her shoe and then angled her head to get a better look at the two men that were following them. She was pretty certain they weren't feds. It was very likely they were former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, because she knew they wouldn't let someone like Skye just wander around with someone like Grant Ward even if S.H.I.E.L.D. was disbanded.

Natasha had her hidden gauntlets launching her electrically charged Widow's Bites at them before she could even process what she was doing. She watched the two men fall to the ground with a loud thud. Even though she was mostly emotionally numb, she was pissed off that this sort of thing was even autopilot for her, it was so normal. Attack first and ask questions later. But even this thought was fleeting, as she had already launched herself with one flip over to where the men were, her string out and around one man's neck. "Who do you work for?" she asked dispassionately.

The man looked like the typical military type that S.H.I.E.L.D. employed. His hand may have been grasping at his neck, but he was moving in a way designed to buck her off. "You're not Skye."

Natasha tightened her grip and twisted and she felt the man struggle even more as he started choking. If anything, she was somewhat angry at having to waste her time today to get information. "That didn't answer my question," she continued in her unimpressed voice.

A movement behind her had Natasha immediately sending a roundhouse kick to the other man's head, and she heard him drop straight back to the ground with a groan. Yes, her equilibrium was definitely disrupted today, and she was definitely feeling anger, but she still didn't let it show. "Are you S.H.I.E.L.D. or HYDRA?"

Her opponent didn't answer and instead attempted to jam his elbow toward her, but Natasha stepped back, dragging him backwards with her. She heard him gasping for breath in earnest now. For a fleeting moment, her perfect anger became a sick pleasurable satisfaction at his suffering. "Tell me, or I'll kill you," she said calmly.

"S.H.I.E.L.D.!" the man gasped out.

Natasha felt her hands tighten the string noose, seemingly against her will. She sensed the man's betrayal at her actions like a physical thing, and she was immediately disgusted at herself. She let him drop and stepped back. "Shit," she whispered.

She heard the other man coming to, and she had her spray out and in his face, with another kick to his head for good measure. The haze from her spray smelled as noxious as it was and she certainly didn't miss hearing his head thud on the concrete. Natasha was shaking. She didn't know what she felt anymore. "Shit," she said louder.

She heard clapping behind her, and turned to see Loki standing there wearing Grant Ward's face, but she'd know those crazed eyes anywhere.

He gave her a dark grin. " _Very_ impressive, Natasha. That they ever thought you reformed is even more of a testament to your skill."

Natasha tensed. She sensed Loki's gaze on her still like a physical thing, but she was almost staring through him. She had done it again; forgotten herself. She had gotten caught up in the moment, the anger, and the pleasure. "I almost killed him," she said hollowly.

Loki shrugged without concern. "You _did_ kill him."

Natasha turned back towards the two men in shock. She could have sworn she saw a green glow from the corner of her eyes. It wasn't possible. She had more control than that. "I _couldn't_ have killed him."

Loki raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her even as he walked past her toward the two felled agents and leaned down, making a show of checking their pulses. "Of course, you could. In fact, it seems they're _both_ dead."

Natasha felt bile coming to her mouth. That couldn't be true. She hadn't had an episode like this in years. "Impossible! There's no way—"

Loki stood up and gave her a sympathetic look. "Natasha—"

She closed her eyes and took an unsteady breath. She was shaking. This didn't just happen. She was reformed and she didn't do this kind of thing anymore. "No. I can't have—it's—you don't understand! They don't die unless I _intend_ to kill them! And I held back!"

Loki placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mortals die so easily. I wouldn't take it to heart."

She sent Loki a glare, shrugged his hand off, and walked past him. She couldn't be angry with Loki for his comments when she was too busy being angry with herself, but she couldn't resist making her own comment, even still. "No thanks to you. You were no help at all."

"Oh, don't be so angry. You found that pleasurable," Loki's smug voice sounded behind her. "And I certainly enjoyed watching."

Natasha froze and then turned around slowly to face Loki again. She saw his smug face leering at her. That sick bastard. Her adrenaline was still high and she knew he was right. She _had_ felt pleasure. It was part of her training, and somehow he knew it. In her mind that made her as sick as he was. "Fuck you."

Loki gave her his most infuriating smirk yet, and Grant Ward's visage didn't diminish it. "Are you offering, Natasha?"

By some miracle, Natasha was able to keep a stoic face, but she made a show of looking Loki up and down with a smirk. She had to compartmentalize and shove away the guilt for now. Thinking about her ledger now wouldn't get her anywhere. She literally sensed the sudden tension and it only caused her adrenaline to kick in again. "No, but if I was, I'd have to insist that you keep Ward's face."

Loki snarled at her. "You tread on dangerous ground, little spider."

Natasha shrugged. "When haven't I? We need to get out of here."

She was fairly certain HYDRA hadn't witnessed the entire debacle with the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents or they'd already be there. However, she wasn't happy at the prospect of having trouble from that quarter in light of the fact that their mission would be enough to deal with. Her thoughts were cut off as she got in character as they finally reached Strucker's facility and entered the easiest way—by the front door.

Loki's hand was currently at the small of her back, guiding her into a meeting room. His acting skills were phenomenal actually, and it made her feel slightly better about this mission. Natasha forced herself to look suitably nervous. She turned to Loki and gave an awkward smile. "Hey, are you sure they won't kill us?"

He gave her what passed for a passably reassuring smile on Ward's face. "We'll be fine, Skye. Keep a cool head and don't worry." Loki then turned straight to the escort they had been assigned after telling the receptionist who they were. "Hail HYDRA."

The gun their escort was holding dropped slightly. "Hail HYDRA," he muttered. "I'll get the boss."

When Strucker came into the room, wearing a uniform that definitely had a Nazi feel to it, Natasha hoped her Intel was as good as she thought it was. She had been completely wrong before. Her gut was telling her one thing, but she was determined to see this through. Helping Loki, taking on Hydra by herself without the Avengers, and not having S.H.I.E.L.D. to rely on anymore- was taking this risk worth the trouble? She really hoped so.

"Grant Ward," Strucker greeted them. "I am Baron Wilhelm von Strucker."

"I know we haven't met before, but I figured making it back here was the best option, considering." Loki motioned to her. "And, I know you're interested in people with special powers."

Strucker nodded in agreement. "You were right to come here. I fear our people were a little too overconfident when it came to exposing HYDRA to the world, and here, we're rebranding ourselves, so to speak. But, it's the end goal and our continuing work that is more important than the labels we give ourselves, wouldn't you agree?" Strucker turned his piercing stare to Natasha, his monocle glinting in the light. "We have heard of you, Skye. Don't worry. We'll train you. You'll be more than you ever could have been as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."

Natasha didn't have to fake her worried frown. "Um. Sometimes I think everyone knows more about me than I know about myself. I know people died to protect me growing up, but that's all I know."

Strucker gave a condescending little smile. "That, my dear, is what we're going to help you with. We're going to unlock your potential. It's what we're doing here at this facility. Unlocking potential in others to help make a better world."

She gave a worried glance to Loki, who made a good show of being the model HYDRA agent in return. "Look, Ward, you said nobody was going to make me do anything I didn't want to do."

Loki gave her an intense stare and rubbed her back slightly. "Hey, don't worry, Skye. I told you everything was going to be okay. There's no reason for you to be afraid of yourself. We've been over this before."

It seemed Natasha had the right idea that this was something to be worried about after all. The only question was, could she trust Loki to do the right thing?


	4. Don't look back; you are never completely alone.

It never ceased to amaze Natasha that a mission could seem so familiar yet so different at the same time. Not knowing if your Intel was faulty, not knowing who you could trust; this was all seeming old hat. However, what was new and surprising was how well she got on with Loki; or Loki as Grant Ward, at any rate. He made it easy, and that put her on edge more than she wanted to admit. Not that she could even confront him or question him about anything, because you could never trust you weren’t being monitored in a place like this.

The old Natasha would have been angry. What truly bothered Natasha about everything was that the new Natasha was no better than the old one had been. She _was_ angry that she still couldn’t trust herself as well as she thought she could. She was still that independent agent who could be written off and denied. She was still the assassin who fell back into old habits even when she tried to exercise her morality for the good of humanity, even though she still got it wrong and failed frequently.

They had been here for three days, playing their respective roles perfectly. Strucker was abominable. He had two mutants under his control and he was training them and brainwashing them for his own ends. It was the Red Room all over again, as far as she was concerned. Natasha was tired of waiting though. It was time to move their agenda forward.

Loki was currently lounging on his back and throwing a container repeatedly into the air. “This is boring.”

Natasha gave him an incredulous stare. “There are two defenseless people caged away like animals in there, Ward!”

He made a scoffing noise. “They’re not defenseless, Skye. If you haven’t noticed they’re actually rather powerful.”

She folded her arms petulantly. “It’s not right to keep them locked away.”

Loki barely glanced at her but kept throwing his cup. “Skye, we’ve been over this before. They’re training them for the betterment of humanity. They don’t seem to have a problem with it. It’s a good cause. It’s everything you were trying to achieve with the Rising Tide.”

She sighed in frustration. “Ugh! It’s like I can’t even talk to you! Do you hear yourself? It’s nothing like the Rising Tide! We were for putting information and power back into the hands of the people. Overthrowing the corrupt system.”

“We’re doing the same thing. S.H.I.E.L.D. was corrupt. We’re trying to fix that. Bring about a new system.”

“A totalitarian system!”

He glared at her. “As opposed to a system that only has false choices and presents a false idea of freedom?”

Were they having this argument as Skye and Ward or was this as Loki and Natasha? Natasha wasn’t so sure there was a difference. She wasn’t necessarily sure that Loki even knew.

She snatched the cup before he could catch it again. Natasha looked at him calmly. “I see what you’re doing here.”

Loki’s glare turned malicious and he sat up. “I’m not so sure you do.” He stood up and closed the distance between them, backing her against the wall and caged her in between his arms. “I just want what’s mine,” he growled.

“I think we’ve already proven Earth doesn’t belong to you,” she whispered with ire.

Loki gave her a condescending look and raised an eyebrow. “Who said anything about Midgard?”

There were a lot of implications to that statement that Natasha didn’t like. She brought up her knee only to have Loki effectively block her body, as he brought himself flush against her. Natasha struggled ineffectually against his hold. This was more than annoying, because there wasn’t a man she’d met yet that she couldn’t get the drop on. However, Loki wasn’t human and it was her fault for forgetting that.

Loki’s breathing rate increased. He whispered in her ear. “Would it be so bad? We’re so much alike, even for all of your pointless atonement. You could help me rule all the Nine. Performing acts of vengeance wherever we go.”

Nobody could say that Loki wasn’t ambitious. He was also delusional.

Natasha gave her own growl. “I’ve worked very hard to be a better person, and—“

She stopped speaking out of frustration. She tried to move away, but found she couldn’t move from the wall. A little voice in the back of Natasha’s mind was telling her that a normal person would have denied Loki outright because they weren’t intrigued by what he was saying instead of making a weak justification for why she shouldn’t just give in. 

Loki started kissing her neck. “And it’s done you no good. You just keep adding to your ledger in the name of the greater good. I don’t see the difference. Give up this pointless quest for love with Barton, give up fighting me.”

Tilting her head to the side didn’t dissuade Loki’s attentions. Clint. She _should_ think of Clint. Natasha was pretty sure that she loved Clint. She owed him a debt. He was her chance at letting someone in. He was her chance at being normal and attempting to live as close to a normal life as she could, even if she had to ruin his marriage to do it. “Pointless quest? You know, I was lying to you about love being for children, right? I’m pretty sure Clint and I are in love.”

Loki actually laughed at her, the vibrations on her neck sending pleasant tingles down her spine. “Oh, and they say I’m the liar. I do wonder if it’s worth it though. Fucking another woman’s husband, knowing his children won’t ever call you mother, and yet you try because you don’t wish to accept the truth anymore. You like the idea of love, but you have no idea what love really is. You and I are quite alike, my dear. Our monstrous deeds cannot be undone.” 

That stung, but she couldn’t deny it. However, Loki still knew too much and it made her too vulnerable, which was unacceptable. Natasha snarled and grabbed at Loki’s shirt with tight fists. She hissed at him. “I’m not trying to take Laura’s place. She’s a good woman and a good mother. And Clint is a good man. He saved me once.”

Loki nipped at a sensitive spot under her ear and she arched her back. “Nobody can save you from yourself. I will never understand why you seek to fight your very nature. Besides, I’ve always found the concept of good to be a very subjective term.”

It was to her, as well, but there was no way she was ever going to admit it. What made something good as opposed to bad was sometimes endlessly confusing to Natasha. It was the end result that mattered to her. She attempted to rally herself. “Are you going philosophical on me?” However, Natasha was quickly losing the battle caring about Clint or anything else because she was enjoying what Loki was doing, and she often had many of the same doubts he was expressing. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, which gave Loki greater access. “Damn you.”

He smirked against her neck. “Mm. Now that’s more like it.” He finally brought his head up to claim her lips. “I want the scepter tonight. We’ve waited long enough.” 

She kissed him back, and Loki was obviously delighted with her actions. Natasha was breathing heavily. “I scoped it out earlier. However, I’ll need you to cause a distraction so I can get it.”

Loki tried to kiss her again, but Natasha pushed him away, and he let her. 

He gave her a crazed grin. “I’m quite good at distractions.”

Despite herself, Natasha felt the edges of her own lips curve into a smirk. “I didn’t notice.”

More was at stake now. Natasha felt as if she was on a precipice of some sort. She had been throwing her good judgment to the wayside at every turn since Loki turned up again, trying to convince herself that she was on another mission for the greater good, but she wasn’t so sure she even believed that. Truth be told, Natasha had a feeling that Loki wasn’t going to use the scepter for anything good, and she had been fooling herself to think otherwise.

Her face was suddenly grabbed in a tight grip, forcing her to look into cold eyes. “I know that look. It’s far too late to change your mind now. It would be best if you simply stopped thinking on it.”

Natasha settled on a blank stare that she knew could infuriate anyone. “Was that a warning or a threat?”

Loki was looking at her like she was a naughty child. “Why not both? It would be such a shame if anything happened to you simply because you couldn’t fulfill your part of our bargain.”

She felt trapped. However, there was freedom in that. She could console herself, as she used to do, that she had little choice but to do as she was told and had been trained to do. 

Natasha felt their whispered conversation had gone on long enough. It had been a foolish risk to break character for even as long as they had. She put a gentle hand against Loki’s cheek and feigned tears coming to her eyes. “Grant, it’s just, those kids, they’re going to use them and some of Stark’s tech to take down the Avengers. I mean, they saved New York from that mad man—alien-- whatever. I’d feel like one of the bad guys if I helped HYDRA with this.”

Loki narrowed his eyes at her, as if searching for something. Then he let her face go and sighed. “Skye! We’ve been over this! We aren’t the bad guys. We’re making a better world! The Avengers are getting in the way of that. I’m sure if they wanted to join us they could. It will all work out. You worry too much.“

He turned his back on her in seeming frustration, effectively ending their conversation.

This was much easier when it was Natasha and Steve Rogers against HYDRA. With Loki, it was more a case of the enemy of your enemy being your friend, with the very real possibility of all bets being off once you succeeded.

Someone knocked on the door to the room she and Loki were sharing, and it opened to reveal Strucker. He looked at Loki first and gave a small smile, before turning to Natasha and giving her a piercing stare through his monocle. “You will have to excuse me, Skye, but we need Agent Ward here for a mission.”

Natasha perked up and wrung her hands worriedly. “Mission? What sort of mission? It’s not too dangerous, is it?”

Strucker gave her a small condescending smile. “Oh, it’s nothing Agent Ward hasn’t been trained for. It won’t take long at all, in fact. Forgive me, but I was under the impression you were also an agent?”

Loki snorted. “She wasn’t really trained fully. Her being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was Coulson’s way of placating her.”

Strucker nodded. “Ah. So, you’re really still just a civilian then, aren’t you?”

Natasha raised her chin in defiance. “I’m not just a civilian.”

Loki shook his head in exasperation. “Don’t get her started. Look, I’ll be back later. Try to stay out of trouble, okay?”

Sometimes it was very frustrating, pretending you didn’t have the skill set you really did have. As Skye, Natasha had been in the position of being condescended to, with a few people putting her through basic orientation as they would a new agent, but otherwise, no mention of Skye’s special skills was made. Initially, Strucker had mentioned that they would have her undergo a medical evaluation, which Natasha knew wasn’t going to be anything benign. Brainwashing and conditioning would be part of the plan too. This entire facility reminded her of the Red Room, even down to the dormitory style rooms for the agents.

Frankly, at this point, so long as Loki provided the desired distraction while she retrieved the scepter, she wanted this particular mission to end quickly. She had a bad feeling about things.

The good news was that Skye was expected to constantly be on her computer, so Natasha easily took to carrying her laptop around with her everywhere. It was nothing for her to gain access to the video feeds surrounding the scepter. It was mostly scientists doing their thing, and Strucker mostly stayed out of it. He was more interested in using Stark’s tech.

After spending a few hours on the computer, Natasha reclined on the cot and closed her eyes. Resting before her job that evening was critical for her energy, her nerves, and her thought processes.

Loki’s voice sounded next to her ear. “Tell me what it is that you’re contemplating.” 

Natasha’s eyes shot open and her boot knife was shoved against Loki’s jugular. She was still on the cot she decided to rest on. She could feel Loki’s breath against her face. She had the distinct feeling that she was more startled by the situation than he was. “What are you doing?”

Loki smirked at her. “I asked first.”

She sat up and swung her legs to hang over the side and put more pressure on the blade. She noticed that Loki wasn’t wearing his Grant Ward disguise. She hissed at him. “You’re breaking cover.”

He laughed, completely unconcerned about the knife at his throat. “I grow tired of constantly wearing that man’s face. Everyone sees what I wish for them to see in this room, anyway.”

Natasha closed her eyes briefly to reorient herself and to calm herself down. Opening her eyes again, she pierced Loki with a glare. “You could have mentioned this earlier. It would have been nice to know that I don’t have to wear Skye’s face twenty four seven.”

Loki gave a careless shrug in response. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. She looked at Loki and couldn’t help but notice the signs of stress in him. For someone billed as the God of Lies, she was able to read him disturbingly well. Of course, she paid attention where most others wouldn’t. That’s why she knew there was something more going on. “Something happened.”

Loki was crouched in front of her, wearing his Asgardian clothes, resting his arms on his knees. “Yes, it would appear that someone has put a knife to my throat.”

Natasha glanced at the knife in her hand and then back to Loki’s eyes before pulling it back. She wasn’t in the mood for his games. “What happened?”

A look of dark bitterness crossed his face before he gave her a false smile. “It isn’t what _has_ happened, but what _will_ happen that should concern you. Our distraction shall be here soon.”

Alarms started going off in the facility. 

She gave Loki a piercing stare, a question on the tip of her tongue.

Loki directly gazed into her eyes and shushed her with a finger to her lips. “Be ready to do your part and extract the scepter. Don’t concern yourself with anything else.”

Natasha was not reassured in the slightest. She nodded her head anyway and gazed down in a show of submission that she hoped would placate him. “Fine. Get the scepter, get out.”

Natasha stood and towered above Loki, who was still crouching in front of her. She cleared her throat. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

He gazed up at her with a dark grin and licked his lips in anticipation. “Just be ready. For anything.”

Without further ado, Natasha pressed her lips together in frustration, turned on her heel, and stalked to the door. She didn’t bother glancing back to gauge Loki’s reaction. She had a job to do and she was going to see it through. She’d worry about Loki once she got the scepter away from Strucker.

Once out in the corridor, Natasha wasted no time in making herself look unsure and worried. She made her way toward the room where she knew the scepter was, people passing her quickly and paying her no attention whatsoever. Being underestimated definitely had its perks.

She slipped into the lab with no issues. There was only one scientist around, and he seemed to be hurriedly doing something on a computer. 

The scientist looked up at her. “You’re not supposed to be in here.”

Natasha intentionally froze and touched her hair in uncertainty. “I’m lost. Nobody will tell me what’s going on.”

Before the man could do more than sigh, Natasha knocked him out with a roundhouse kick to the head. There was no challenge there at all. It was too easy.

She turned around and her attention was entirely on the scepter, which was prominently displayed. Thoughts of a compromised Clint Barton, Stark Tower and portals to space flashed briefly through her mind, but she just as quickly pushed that all to the side and strode forward to grasp it. She had no time to waste on the past.

Closing her fingers around it deftly, Natasha lifted the scepter from its place and walked back over to the scientist and then proceeded to divest him of his lab coat so that she could wrap the scepter in it. It wouldn’t do for anyone to see her with it. Working quickly, she was soon on her way out of the lab again, her Skye façade still in place.

The alarm was still blaring throughout the facility and sounds of fighting could be heard distantly. She knew that most people would be where the action was. However, Natasha made her way toward the front exit, away from the fighting. 

A figure dressed in black stepped into her line of sight and Natasha suddenly found herself staring at the business end of an arrow. She momentarily forgot she was wearing a disguise and her heart skipped a beat. For the first time, Natasha truly felt nervous. Her steps faltered and it wasn’t feigned. It was Clint. She’d know Clint anywhere.

She felt her heart rate accelerating and she blinked her eyes quickly, hoping she wasn’t really seeing what she was seeing. Loki had somehow brought the Avengers as his distraction. She tensed her shoulders and addressed Clint in an audibly tense tone of voice. “Hey. There’s no need for that! Just, don’t point that thing at me, okay?”

Clint didn’t take the bait. His bow was still trained on her. “Whatever that is, put it down.”

Natasha gave a nervous laugh. “Look. Okay. This isn’t anything important though.”

Clint didn’t look convinced, but she knew he wouldn’t. “I said, put it down,” he ordered.

Natasha held her free hand out to the side with her palm up in a gesture of surrender. She slowly moved as if she was going to set the scepter down, but instead quickly reached for a miniaturized smoke grenade and flung it.

She couldn’t fight Clint because he’d know it was her if she did. As smoke filled the hall, Natasha made a run for it. She had the advantage, but she didn’t know for how long.

Clint couldn’t see her; she knew he couldn’t, but that didn’t stop him from releasing the arrow that whizzed by her head, barely missing her. She couldn’t help it that her thoughts immediately turned toward Loki’s promise to her when she first met him, that he would make Barton kill her; and not for the first time, she doubted their new bargain. Natasha kept running. She didn’t dare look back.


End file.
